It's game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there. He responds, "No, the seat's empty." "The first man exclaims, "What?!? Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?" The neighbor responds, "Well the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we haven't been together." The first man responds," I'm sorry to hear that. Wasn't there anyone else, a friend or relative, that could've taken that seat?" The neighbor responds, "No, they're all at the funeral."
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
A Giants fan, a Padre fan, and a Dodger fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Padre fan insists he's the most loyal. "This is for San Diego!" he yells and jumps off the side of the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Giants fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for San Francisco!" and pushes the Dodger fan off the mountain.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
I named my hard drive "dat ass," so once a month my computer asks if I want to "back dat ass up."
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine..."
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, "An enemy ship is approaching us!" The captain replies calmly, "Go get my red shirt." The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win. The soldier asks, "Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?" The captain replies, "If I got injured, my blood shouldn't be seen, as I didn't want my men to lose hope." Just then, another soldier runs up and says, "Sir, we just spotted another twenty enemy ships!" The captain calmly replies, "Go bring my yellow pants."
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
China, Russia, and Poland venture to space. China says they'll go to Pluto because it's the farthest. Russia says they'll go to Jupiter because it's the biggest. Poland says they'll go to the Sun. Russia and China warn that they'll melt. They reply, "We'll go at night."

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著名网络营销案例网络安全等级保护级别信息安全应用网络安全纪录片信息网络安全报警网网络营销策划活动网络安全公网接入张家港杨舍网站制作贵阳网站seo2016 信息安全 国际会议何为天道?制定世间规则的无上神吗?或许自诩“正义”的天道才是应该被抹去的一方呢?你有你的坚持我也有我的坚守,如果你所坚守的正义终将成为我的敌人…… 如果挡在我面前的是这世间的一切,那么就让整个世界重启好了。 “下辈子,希望我们还能成为朋友……”作品简介:文中以“封杀计划”为主线,写向晨,张 琳,马旭等人破案的长途过程,本书有悬疑,想象, 等特点,让故事读起来更有韵味。林羽:我不是反派啊! 人族:你开局是卧底,然后变叛徒! 妖族:你打小就是我们养的卧底,你背叛就算了,还抓了你上司,杀了我们分部的大领导! 圣朝:你谋杀圣皇,阴谋颠覆圣朝统治! 林羽:......对不起,我是反派 末法时代,登天路断,九州大陆被大神通者分隔,看少年如何踏天道,碎凌霄,一步步登上绝巅。30个看似普通却命运非凡的高中生,被一个代号“规则者”的人拉进了四个风格各异、极端刁难的游戏中。他们不仅要在这些游戏中挣扎着活下去,而且还要留意身边的人——因为,规则者,就潜伏在他们30个人之中。 极端严寒与世隔绝的“生命款待”,互相算计自相残杀的“血色追逐令”,甚至还有崩塌世界的“末日丧尸游”……你猜,他们谁会活下来,谁又是规则者?!这是黑与白、善与恶的故事,这世间善恶、黑白的定义,又是怎样的定义。”角色: 泠竹:泠竹 尚祁:尚祁 主要角色有泠竹父亲,泠竹妹妹,男主尚祁,以及制造冰球的反派人物甲和乙。 大概是世界末日到了,全球气温骤降,导致很多地方都失去了昔日的生机,每过一段时间就会有巨大的冰球将地球上的某一生存地给毁灭碾压。而这次终于轮到泠族部落所在的区域了。 在末日来临的时刻,你与同伴手握解救世界的机会,你的选择会是什么?踏遍星河,宇宙的主宰、银河帝国的皇帝、最强的龙神来到地球寻找自己最后一块灵魂碎片。封印神力、伪装成人类的他万万没想到自己会在这颗崇尚修仙的星球遭遇奇葩挑战,让本想低调的自己逐渐成为焦点......刚从警校毕业的警校生李瑜,进入了滇南缉毒大队。一次意外,李瑜结识了辛嫣,二人也在接触中暗生情愫。本以为是天作之合,谁料竟是天公不作美。辛嫣竟是滇南缉毒大队准备打击的犯罪团伙老大的女儿。当家国情怀与儿女情长发生剧烈碰撞,李瑜该作何抉择?
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